The Psychology of the Hater – My Thoughts*

mary-sue, jemssparkles, beach, sand, haters gonna hate, psychology101, psychology of the haterby Mary-Sue

There is so much hate going around on the Internet. The combination of anonymity and the lack of a direct emotional reaction to comments reinforces the ease with which we judge. Haters are never that direct in person for their actions on the Internet do not have the same consequences as in real life.

I’ve been wanting to make this blog post for the longest time to shed some light on the hater’s perspective. I hope this makes you (the reader) understand them better, and know that their comments have little to do with you, but are reflections of their life.

Let’s first be clear on the concept of the so-called ‘hater.’ Haters are people who leave hateful, non-constructive comments on the Internet. They ‘hate’ for the sake of hating, there is no other purpose for their rude commentary.

Everyone has thoughts and feelings (thank you Captain Obvious). This is where your life starts. A thought becomes an action resulting in a certain behavior. So what you do is reflective of what you are feeling. If you project hate – a very negative emotion – it has to stem from something, meaning you are probably not feeling very well.

Nobody wants to feel bad, but everyone has different ways of dealing with that sensation. A very productive way of dealing with it, is talking about what is bothering you and figuring out ways to make it better. A not so productive way of dealing with it, is taking it out on other people.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: by putting other people down, you are not going to feel better. At first you might feel better at the thought of having offended someone, so you are not the only one hurting. It is a comforting thought in the sense that you are not alone. But that feeling will fade away because the rude comment did not change anything in YOUR life. Moreover, your action will likely backfire since the emotion of guilt is right around the corner. You cannot leave a disrespectful comment without feeling at least a bit bad about it –even though that realization might come later. Feeling guilty will lead to you feeling worse about yourself (which started this whole situation in the first place) and you find yourself in a nice downward spiral.

If you have nothing nice to say, or your argument is not considered to be constructive criticism, don’t say anything. You are not helping them and you are not helping yourself. I feel for the haters for they are probably battling something bad in their lives.

*I believe the majority of people are morally good individuals trying to get by. No-one is perfect however, and sometimes we might not choose the right reaction or the right words, especially when we are not in our right minds.

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